Conflict Resolution Skills: What They Are and How to Use Them

Handling conflict in any context is never fun. Oftentimes, issues become more complicated than they need if the people involved need more conflict resolution and general communication skills. In this article, we’ll discuss conflict resolution and, more specifically, how different conflict resolution skills may be useful in various situations.

What are conflict resolution skills?

Think of these skills as a “toolbox” for managing disputes. They can help you approach conflicts with patience, logic, and reasoning to avoid confusion and negativity. Most people have the capability to learn conflict resolution skills. With a focus on mutual respect and a goal of fostering peace, conflict resolution habits can help create healthy, communicative relationships that benefit everyone involved.

Why are conflict resolution skills important?

Conflict is a part of life. It’s a natural and oftentimes healthy occurrence brought about by differences. You may experience conflict with friends, family, or coworkers, and you might need to be able to defuse the situation productively. Conflict resolution skills exist to help you do just that. Practicing open communication by utilizing active listening and patience can bring about peaceful resolutions that foster safe work and home environments.

What are examples of conflict resolution skills?

Various skills exist to help solve conflict in a productive, peaceful manner in your day-to-day life.

Actively listen.

When approaching conflict, make sure you’re listening to what the other person or people are saying. Take a step back from the situation and your feelings, and try to look at things from another perspective. By working to understand another person’s point of view, you are making active strides to de-escalate the conflict at hand.

It’s important to display empathy and affirm what the other person says when practicing active listening. To make the other person feel heard, ask open-ended questions that show you understand what they’ve been saying and use verbal affirmations like “yes” or “I agree”. To actively listen to another person, you’ll need to engage empathetically with them.

Compromise.

If you find yourself at an impasse or a dead-end during a discussion, try to come up with a compromise. Compromising is a way to take the feelings and opinions of others into account while coming up with a solution that benefits and accounts for all parties involved.

Manage your stress.

It is very easy for a conflict to escalate if the involved parties are stressed. Remember: everyone has a unique point of view. Take a deep breath. Remind yourself that you cannot change other people’s opinions or reactions. If you need to de-escalate a situation, all you can do is de-escalate your reaction and stay calm.

If you’re having difficulty managing your emotions in the heat of the moment, it’s okay to take space from the conflict at hand. Taking a short break may help you cool off and gain perspective. You may find that taking a walk, meditating, or journaling are helpful tools in reframing conflict.

Be patient.

It’s true what they say: patience is a virtue. But it’s also a great tool for handling conflict. To keep discussions tempered, it’s important to take a deep breath and try to understand other peoples’ points of view. When you face conflict with an open mind, you position yourself to practice understanding and empathy with others. Patience is not a skill you can develop overnight, but it is significant. Give yourself time to take things slow and really reflect and re-focus your emotions.

Be empathetic.

Empathy is one of the most critical communication skills to develop because it allows you to truly understand the feelings of others. You must take the time to see their perspective and understand their goals, motivations, and pain points to develop effective solutions that meet everyone’s needs.

Self-reflect.

When handling a conflict, one way to open yourself up to other people’s perspectives is to first examine your own. Why are you feeling what you’re feeling? What do you hope to gain? By asking yourself these questions and similar ones, you might start to see how your wants and needs align with those of others.

How to improve your conflict resolution skills

The best way to improve your conflict resolution skills is to put them into practice. However, you can do plenty of things to enhance your skills when you’re not experiencing conflict.

Practices in self-reflection are great for personal growth and the development of conflict-resolution skills. If you want to improve your skills, you may consider journaling or meditating to practice perspective skills. Consider asking yourself the following questions:

• How do I react to conflict? Why do I react this way?

• How do I convey my feelings? What steps can I take to improve my communication?

• Why am I upset? What do I need to resolve this conflict?

Practicing self-reflection is an effective tool that allows you to better understand others’ feelings and opinions.

How to use your conflict resolution skills

In the workplace

Conflict: An employee approaches you, their manager, complaining that another employee is being too loud and disruptive while doing their work. They tell you they cannot focus and expect you to do something to resolve this issue.

Solution: Express your understanding of that employee’s issue and let them know their side of the story has been heard. Then, speak to the other employee involved, asking them about the situation. Politely and calmly explain that others have complained about disruptions in the workplace environment. Kindly ask them to conduct their work in a less disruptive manner. If it continues to be an issue, you’ll have to take further action, which could involve memos or even human resources (HR).

Skills used: Open communication, active listening, patience

In romantic relationships

Conflict: Your partner comes to you and expresses feeling neglected in the relationship. They tell you they feel like they need to be more of a priority amongst your other responsibilities: work, family, etc. They expect a resolution.

Solution: You express that you understand their distress and open up to them about your responsibilities. You explain that your other engagements do not lessen your commitment to the relationship and apologize that you have not been providing your partner with what they need. In an effort to come to a compromise, you ask your partner what they need to feel like a priority in the relationship.

Skills used: Active listening, self-reflection, compromise

With friends and family

Conflict: A friend or family member tells you they wish you’d contact them more. They tell you they are upset because they don’t hear from you frequently and feel like you’re drifting away from them, but you’ve been dealing with many personal things.

Solution: After looking at the situation from their point of view, you apologize for making them feel that way. You explain that you’ve had a lot going on in your personal life and have not had much time on your hands. You ask what they need to feel secure in your relationship and offer a solution based on your wants and needs.

Skills used: Patience, empathy, compromise

Next steps

If you want to learn more about conflict resolution or communication strategies, consider taking the courses Improving Communication Skills, Communication Science, or Cultivating Immensely Human Interactions. You can find these and more on Coursera.