How to Improve Your Negotiation Skills

When you think about negotiation, do you picture a fast-paced business situation with a large deal on the line or another serious scenario? Although negotiation often comes into play in these situations, it also plays a significant role in everyday life.

While negotiating, you can choose from three main approaches: hard, soft, and principled. Hard negotiations rely on competitive bargaining, while the soft approach includes more compromise. Principled negotiation focuses on objective information and interests instead of people or positions for long-term success for everyone involved.

No matter which approach you choose, honing particular skills can help increase your chances for success. Learn how to negotiate effectively, watch your relationships shift, and benefits trickle down.

What is negotiation, and why is it important? 

Negotiation is a complex discussion in which two or more parties try to resolve an issue in a manner everyone finds acceptable. Each side can present its case and persuade the other to see its viewpoint. There will always be some form of give-and-take, with compromise typically requiring one side to walk away more successfully while the other has to make more concessions.

Negotiation is an essential skill for individuals, teams, and organisations. It is a valuable tool for resolving conflict, advancing careers, and creating value.

What are the qualities of an effective negotiator?

Effective negotiators communicate clearly, listen and comprehend what others say, and use critical thinking skills. Other essential qualities include:

• Adaptability

• Persuasiveness

• Excellent research abilities

• Personable

• Creativity

• Conscientiousness

• Perform efficiently under pressure

• Articulate

• Willing to compromise

• Positive attitude and outlook

• Good conversational skills

How improving your negotiation skills benefits you 

Negotiation is a life skill, not just an ability amongst top-tier business executives and hostage crisis professionals. Negotiation often takes place even in quiet moments. For example, couples may negotiate where to go on vacation, or families may negotiate how they approach movie night.

Working on your negotiation skills offers multiple benefits. Examples include:

• Boosting and building self-confidence

• Ensuring you get the best possible deals and maximum value

• Helping resolve conflicts, issues, and problems

• Building respect and a positive reputation

• Moving forward in your career path

• Strengthening relationships

Negotiation skills to focus on

Whether you’re improving your negotiation skills for your professional or personal life, various negotiation skills can help you move forward. Working on your confidence and communication skills is an excellent place to start. Entering a negotiation with just the right amount of confidence helps prevent you from getting taken advantage of without making you seem off-putting to the other side of the negotiation table.

Be prepared

Without preparation, you essentially undertake negotiation blindly. It would help if you understood the situation clearly, what's at stake, and how negotiations can play out. As you prepare, ask yourself a few questions to help guide the process:

• What are your boundaries?

• What do you want to accomplish?

• How much will you compromise?

• Are the concessions you ask the other side to make reasonable and fair?

• How might the other person or party respond?

• What are the best and worst possible outcomes?

Know your goal

What will you ask for in the negotiation process? Understanding this is an essential first step. Additionally, you must build your case by including supporting details to persuade the other person or party why they should meet your requests. Approach negotiations with a clear understanding of what you're willing to lose. For example, if you want a higher salary, would you be willing to sacrifice a different benefit, like vacation time?

Additionally, be determined to ask for more. For example, if you're negotiating with your employer about increasing your productivity or work hours, ask for a higher salary or increased vacation time.

Practice

You know that old saying, “Practice makes perfect.” It stands true in various situations, including negotiations. You may not have frequent opportunities to exercise your negotiating skills unless you're a professional negotiator. A few tactics to consider include the following:

• Use your resources to gain supporting research to back up your side and practice your pitch to fine-tune the details.

• Role-play the other side to help you understand the points the opposition may raise.

• Make consistent eye contact when role-playing with another person and hold their gaze to appear confident and committed.

• Research the latest negotiation tactics using sources like books, podcasts, and courses to keep your skills fresh.

Build rapport

Negotiations call for a careful and balanced approach from both parties. Building rapport with the other person or party you negotiate with can help break the ice while encouraging a collaborative spirit. It can also help increase the odds of reaching a successful agreement. Ways to build rapport include:

• If time allows, engage in small talk or at least a personal introduction.

• Communicate clearly to ensure the other party knows your position and your request. Remain calm and keep your body language relaxed but professional.

• Feel free to ask questions. Neutral questions (not “yes” or “no” questions that lead the other party to answer) can encourage information-packed responses that can be useful throughout the process.

• Practice active listening and acknowledge concerns or complicated feelings. Doing this will help build your relationship and allow you to gain valuable insights from the other side.

Be flexible

Negotiations are fluid and may require you to be flexible and accepting of other solutions and additional compromises. Listen to what the other side offers and consider if their offer aligns with your objectives and ultimate goals.

Use good judgement, but be prepared to walk away

Negotiations aren’t personal. However, they require that you enter the conversation with sound judgement to determine if your counterpart’s solutions work within the framework of your goals and objectives.

Establishing firm boundaries and being prepared to walk away from the negotiation table is essential if the offer does not suit your goals. Doing so makes a powerful statement of confidence and integrity. Instead of dismissing the negotiation altogether, the other side could reconsider its position. Either way, you want to exit the negotiation knowing you stand firmly within your boundaries.

How do you develop good negotiation skills?

Good negotiators can think on their feet, use critical thinking, and listen actively to anticipate other people’s needs and actions. They also need to be able to make small changes seem like big deals, which lowers their chances of making as many changes to their offers as possible.

Train

Professional development courses like Introduction to Negotiation: A Strategic Playbook for Becoming a Principled and Persuasive Negotiator offered by Yale and Successful Negotiation: Essential Strategies and Skills offered by the University of Michigan on Coursera can help you hone your skills. In-person or online courses can also help you effectively learn the concepts and theories of negotiation to apply to your interactions.

Put it into practice

While understanding the theory and fundamentals of negotiation is essential, practising helps embed these skills into your intuition, taking you further. Try out your new skills with family and friends. The more you use negotiation tactics, the more comfortable you'll feel during a real negotiation scenario.

Ask for feedback

After practising with friends, family, colleagues, instructors, or other learners, ask them to critique your performance. Getting feedback can be challenging, but it’s an effective method for identifying your strengths and weaknesses to reinforce areas needing additional work. Understanding what you’ve done well and where you’ve experienced setbacks can help you become a more effective negotiator with time. It can also increase your confidence for future negotiations.

Next steps

Developing robust and effective negotiation skills can boost your personal and professional life. Hone those skills and learn more about negotiation fundamentals with an online course on Coursera, like The Art of Negotiation from the University of California Irvine and Negotiations by the University of Pennsylvania. You can also sign up for courses like Negotiation Fundamentals from Essec Business School and Fundamentals of Negotiation with Goldman Sachs 10,000 Women offered by Goldman Sachs.