How to Find a Mentor and Grow Toward Your Goals

A good mentor has the ability to provide critical guidance at any stage of your career and life, whether you’re a college freshman or a senior-level executive. Working with a mentor can foster professional growth, advance your career, and help you achieve your career goals. 

However, if you lack an existing network or are new to a particular educational or professional environment, you might be wondering how to seek out a mentor. 

Learn more about mentorship, including what a mentor is, how to find one, and what you can expect from the mentor-mentee relationship. 

What is a mentor? 

A mentor is an experienced individual who provides advice and guidance to another, usually less-experienced person (the mentee). In some cases, two peers of the same level may mentor one another by offering advice and guidance through a process called peer mentorship. 

Mentees can be younger or older than their mentors or in a higher or lower hierarchical position. The key element that defines a mentor is simply that they are more knowledgeable and experienced in a subject than their mentee. Don’t let age or job title hinder you from asking someone for advice or mentorship. 

A mentor isn’t the same as a sponsor. In the professional world, a sponsor is someone in a position of authority who takes on a protege and prepares them for a role, providing career guidance and advocating for their promotion. Sponsorship is a formal relationship explicitly based on career advancement in a specific place of business. 

How to get a mentor: Steps and etiquette 

Mentorship can be a dynamic relationship that provides long-term benefits as you walk down your career path. Follow these steps to establish a mentorship:

1. Explore possible mentors. 

The first step to finding a mentor is to simply explore the field of possible mentors available to you. These might be knowledgeable individuals with whom you already have a relationship or people you don’t know personally but who have experience and insight you respect.

Your mentor can be anyone who possesses the ability to advise you on a specific topic regardless of their job title or age, so make sure to consider a range of possible mentors. You can also have multiple mentors, such as one to help you improve your communication skills and another to help you better understand target marketing. 

Ultimately, two factors contribute to a good mentor: 

1. They possess knowledge and experience that could help you.

2. They are willing and able to guide you.

Many people simply don’t have access to an existing network of possible mentors due to personal, social, or economic reasons. In particular, members of marginalized groups might find it difficult to find suitable mentors when they are trying to break into fields where they aren’t well-represented, such as STEM.

If you don’t have access to available resources or networks, many resources can help you find some guidance. 

Common resources for finding a mentor 

Community mentorship programs: Many public establishments, such as libraries or community centers, run mentorship programs. Search to see if your area has any. 

Online organizations dedicated to making fields more accessible: Many organizations and nonprofits open up career paths to underrepresented groups. For example, Colorintech is an organization dedicated to increasing diversity in tech, offering resources and training to entrepreneurs, students, and established career professionals in marginalized groups. 

Professional networks and organizations: Many professional organizations offer the opportunity to network with others in your desired field. In some cases, you might even look on professional networking websites, such as LinkedIn, to find others already working in the same industry. 

2. Establish contact with a possible mentor.

Once you have identified a possible mentor, contact them to determine if they're willing to advise you. 

During this step, you shouldn’t directly ask the other person to be your mentor because this can come across as too much of a commitment early on. Instead, simply reach out to them to see if they would be willing to connect and discuss the topic you need help with. 

You can reach out to your potential mentor either in person or via email. Generally, the most personal way is to simply ask in person, particularly when they're on a break. If you cannot meet in person, then you can send a semi-formal email explaining that you are interested in discussing the topic of interest and asking if they have time available, even if just for a virtual coffee. 

While many people will be happy to help, occasionally, a potential mentor will be too busy or simply unwilling to fulfill your request. If this is the case, thank them for their time and reach out to someone else. 

3. Meet up and discuss.  

When you do finally meet with your potential mentor, respect their time by coming prepared with specific questions and a clear understanding of your objectives, so they can know how best to help. 

The conversation can be quite casual, so long as you stay focused on its primary purpose: to receive advice and guidance on a specific topic. To get good advice, you don’t need to have a long conversation with your potential mentor. Even a brief 15-minute meeting can be helpful when you come prepared to discuss the topic. 

At the end of the discussion, thank them for their time and see if they'd be willing to meet again and discuss the topic further once you have had a chance to implement their advice. This should be scheduled enough in advance that you are able to work on the task but not so far ahead that it will hinder your progress.  

4. Nurture the relationship (and consider formalizing it). 

After the initial meeting, continue to nurture the relationship with your potential mentor by maintaining contact and updating them semi-regularly on your progress. Make a point of noting how much their advice has helped you progress, perhaps even showing them the concrete outcomes, if possible.

Depending on your goals and your mentor's availability, you will also want to schedule further meetings with them. These can be weekly, monthly, or quarterly—whatever realistically works for both of you. 

You might also consider asking the other person to formally be your mentor, though this is not a necessity. While some people will be happy to take on the role of mentor, others might resist a formal title associated with increased responsibility. Use your own discretion when making this decision.   

5. Respect your mentor’s boundaries. 

Your mentor is already devoting a certain amount of their time and energy to helping you, so it’s important to respect their boundaries. Just like you, your mentor has a life and professional goals that require attention.

In effect, you should be mindful of inundating your mentor with requests for which they may not have the time. For example, if you want their feedback on a specific project, then make sure to give them plenty of time rather than sending them something at the last minute. It may be wise to directly set boundaries with your mentor by simply asking them when and how you are allowed to contact them. This will ensure that the relationship is as pleasant as possible for both of you. 

6. Give back to your mentor. 

Mentorship can be a two-way relationship. You can also help your mentor whenever the opportunity arises. While most mentors won’t expect anything in return for their help, it’s a good gesture to help them out whenever possible. For example, you might help your mentor out with a project that overlaps with your own skill set, or you might treat them to a coffee every now and then. Whether you do something big or small, your mentor will likely appreciate your effort. 

7. Create a network.

Consider creating a network of mentors to expand your resources since more people can likely provide you with more help than one person. 

For example, you might have one mentor who offers advice on improving your communication skills, another who provides professional guidance, and another who helps you better understand the inner workings of project management. By having a mix of mentors, you can expand your skill set and connect with professionals in spheres. 

8. Change mentors as needed, but stay in touch. 

As you begin to gain experience or move into new positions, you will likely find that you’ll need new mentors to help you meet new challenges. Make an effort to change mentors throughout your life and career as your goals and needs change. This will help you gain new insights and assistance as you move up in your career. 

Additionally, make an effort to maintain contact and help them whenever possible. For example, you might catch up over coffee with an old mentor, or you might connect them with someone else from your network. You might also consider sending them updates about your personal life and career, making sure to thank them for helping you get to the next level. 

Reaching your career goals beyond mentorship

By providing guidance and advice, a mentor can help enhance your career, so knowing how and where to find one may prove invaluable.

At its core, mentorship is all about learning. As you begin working with your mentor, you might also consider taking a flexible online course to help you get to that next step. Wharton’s Achieving Personal and Professional Success Specialization, for example, can help you define success, communicate effectively, and use influence to accomplish your personal and career goals. 

With time, effort, and help from your friends, you really can make that next big step in your life. 

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